So, I had a gameplan worked out for the weekend and I trusted myself to follow it, and.....
I did.
I actually made it through a Pracs weekend WITHOUT falling off the wagon and letting myself over-indulge!!
I went up to Fargo on Thursday for my screening. That evening my sister, Nikki offered to take me out to eat at Chili's because I've never been there before. They were closed, so we went to TGIF's instead. (they have an extensive, tasty looking menu). The cool thing about NOT eating meat, I have to say, is that when I look at a menu NO MATTER what the dish says, what's in it, the second I see meat, I skip it and look for something meat free. In other words, it's ALSO easier to avoid temptation with overly-fatty foods. Usually I'd go for a steak or chicken and pasta dish when dining out. This place had LOTS of options, but I only zeroed in on a few that were to my liking. Nikki got annoyed with me because she wanted a quesadilla and I told her to get it, but that I wouldn't have any. {Insert annoyed sister look AND grunt}
Then she asked if I'd eat the fried green beans as an appetizer. I said yes (they sounded neat, and I love that stuff that gets made at Thanksgiving and Christmas). They were good... lol
For my entree I ordered this Caprese salad thing that had pasta, tomatoes, basil, olive oil, mozzerella (sp?..i don't know), and breaded eggplant. I'd never had eggplant, and what better time to try something than when someone else is offering to pay?! So, I ordered that and asked the waiter to please box half of it before bringing it to the table.
{Insert ANOTHER annoyed look and more annoyed grunt from the sister}
When my food came, (with a box on the side, that I had to fill myself) and I ate my food, it was good. I enjoyed the eggplant, so that was exciting to have a "new food" crossed off my list of things I wanted to try. We didn't get dessert or anything and I had water to drink. Very good job, if I do say so myself.
The next day I ate the rest of my pasta for lunch, and went to check into Pracs. I told myself that if I didn't think I'd get dosed (if there were too many people there, or they told me that I had to do a repeat or something) that I'd just leave, so I could keep staying meat free.
I got in.
Here is the logic that I gave myself to allow it to be ok. IF I hadn't done the study, they would've STILL gotten someone else and that someone else WOULDVE eaten the breakfast that I got. It's not like I ordered it, or bought it at the store to which would aid in the supply & demand of it, instead I just got it instead of someone else. In other words, that food was being made and served no matter what. Other veggies might not agree with my "ok" on the situation, but I don't care. I needed the cash, since I haven't done a study since March, and the next time I check in will be for Nikki's b-day (weekend of June 6th) and so I won't be driving all that way for nothing (5 hours!) I'll get paid for it!
This isn't to say that I've abandoned my previous thoughts. I'm still meat-free now, and will continue until I check back in. Then on June 9th, I'll make the decision on whether or not I want to do the full-blown vegan thing or not. Time will tell.
So, that was my weekend, and SOMEHOW after the 4 days of not working out, and Fri, Sat, and Sun not being in control of my food, I still have a small loss to show. That's about a million times BETTER than the 3 pound gain (AT LEAST) that I was 100% EXPECTING! So, that's awesome, and that was exciting!
I'll be hitting the gym here in about an hour, hopefully I didn't lose too much of my endurance. I WON Shane and my little competition (is there any surprise? lol) But, now he vows to never have one with me again, since he has yet to win (he also has yet to eat healthful and commit to the gym the way I do...lol), my next mini-goal I'm setting up for the day of Nikki's B-day party. She wants everyone to get uber-dressed up and I'd be okay with losing a couple lbs and toning a small bit before getting 'said' dress or whatnot. :)
Love you all! (and thank you for the support!!! )
Ashley

weight: 135.4
(i'm NO longer "overweight" for my height/weight, WOO-HOO!!)

lbs to lose to hit mini-goal: 4

time left to hit goal: 13 days

I did it.
I am the smallest I've been as an adult.
Usually I'm stoked and SUPER happy at progress such as this. Especially since in the last week my weight has decided to work with me and not against me. Working out AND eating healthy wasn't getting me anywhere for a little while there. My body finally decided to let go of the "set point" I think it had reserved for me.
Problem is, I'm to go to Pracs this weekend. Here I am at my new "low" and I am scared to death. I don't want a downward spiral that seems to happen every other time. I don't even want to eat the Pracs food. I actually told Shane that I think I shouldn't go, maybe do a different study in June. He got annoyed with me. He was trying to set up babysitting with his mom and sister, so he didn't like me coming in and ruining the "plans" eventhough those plans hadn't been figured out yet. He still hadn't heard back from them.
So, here I am sitting in this annoyed place because I'd have to leave tomorrow to screen, HOPE that me hitting the gym YESTERDAY won't count against me, check-in to Pracs FRIDAY, and eat the nasty FATTY breakfast that I HATE with MEAT on Saturday and Sunday morning. I do that twice and I get an easy one grand. Why does this seem like the least easy grand ever though? For me it's choosing between my new moral decision and money. Alot of people would say: "take the money! you're ONLY eating meat because you're getting paid for it" but then what stops me from doing it any other time? I feel like if I make an excuse for it this time, that makes it "ok" to make an excuse another time. I don't think I'm ok with that, but I don't really know what to do. Another downside for ME, although Shane really just doesn't seem to get me, is that I just lost a stubborn 5 lbs that I haven't been able to before. I'm in a new place. Going to Pracs and their overly buttery/greasy food will make me gain about 5 over the weekend and SURE I can lose that when I get out, but uh, talk about ANNOYING.
But Shane is giving me a guilt trip and I am NOT good under those circumstances. I wish I wasn't such a people pleaser. I wish I didn't care what people thought.
Any insight, feel free to throw your opinion out there. Thanks for listening and sorry I'm not my usual chipper self.
Ashley

weight: 135.6

lbs left to mini-goal: 0.6

time left to hit mini-goal: 2 days

thanks ms. J....
:)

p.s. btw: weighed in at 137 on the dot this morning. too cool! I have my highest weight as 226 (if you click on it, there's a link)because that's what I was at my highest, on the day I delivered my baby. After having him and when things settled a little I was 211 for a little while. Goal weight is 116 ONLY because of my height. If I get to 120-125-130 I don't care, it's how I look and feel. When I'm there I'll know, and then I'll stop, so I don't want to hear anything about numbers being "too low" or "not low enough". :)
Happy Tuesday!

This past week was a lesson. After gaining weight as a newly turned vegetarian, I found out that I had to put on the brakes with how I was eating. I would go places (like taco john's for example) JUST to test myself to see what I could order without getting meat. I had some super nachos (minus ground beef) and potato oles. Yummy, but uh, NOT HEALTHY! Then after a day with Shane over the weekend eating everything from cookies/chip-n-dip/french toast/pancakes, I told myself STOP!!!!!!
I didn't need to eat all this unhealthy food JUST because it was MEAT-FREE! lol. You'd think that was obvious, but that's how my brain tricked me into thinking it was "ok." Now, I'm 2 days back into eating healthy. Did great yesterday and today. Hit the gym again and ate smart. OH! Here's a great coupon for you all! (I've become a coupon freak lately...) LiveActive which has cheese/cereal and stuff like that has a coupon on their website (don't know how long they are promoting this) but it's for $3.00 off on a box of the brand new cereal. The box sells for $3.17 at my commissary, so I printed off like 3 of these coupons and have some boxes in my pantry. That's some cheap cereal!! Plus, fiberone also has a coupon out for their yogurt. It's for $1.25 off. At my commissary the yogurt is $1.75, so it only ends up costing me fifty cents. NOT BAD!!! lol. And...they are lower in calorie than alot of other yogurts out there. So, that's just a heads up for all you people looking for a good deal! :)
Okay, well, I'm back on track, so that's good. I'm not in a hurry because I am in a *happy* weight place right now. Anything in the 130s I feel good about, when I get lower and lower I'll just start feeling greater and greater....but I'm not in a crazy rush. Okay. Love you all, and hope you had a good weekend. :)
ash

weight: 139.6 (it went back up to 143 this weekend, but immediately went down after I did well yesterday and today. thank goodness!! lol)

lbs left to mini-goal: 4.6

time left to mini-goal: 4 days. Uh, that's NOT going to happen. So, I'll extend it to when my sister is celebrating her b-day and having a party. June 9th. Time remaining now? Exactly 3 weeks. :)

hello all! Well, I have officially been in the 130s for over a week now. Just barely though... lol. I edged to the top of 139 a few times, but never went to 140. I like the thought that the "140s" are behind me, since that's a place I was "comfy" in. I'm excited to go to a new place.
It hasn't been as easy to lose this week. I was 137 earlier, but as I said at the time I don't know how, and of course those cookies DID catch up with me. lol. Plus, avoiding meat makes me actually eat other things that I usually avoid. I NEVER eat biscuits or bread at home if I can help it. I really didn't care for bread. Eventhough we had low calorie slices or something, when I was eating healthy, I always looked at it as a waste of calories. I'd rather have soup and a salad then soup and a sandwich. Well...with the oncoming of me not eating meat, I've found myself allowing more bread and rice than I would EVER eat before. Like, I'm giving myself the green light because there's "no meat" in my dish.
It's like I forgot that I was eating healthy and trying to lose weight. I just stopped eating meat, and started gaining weight. lol. So, today I've had to sit back and put that into perspective. It's weird because I was starting a new way of eating and now I have to change it AGAIN. To be non-meat but also "diet friendly". It won't be hard, just different....again. Oh, and I've been working out pretty crazy hard, so I can only imagine what my gain would've been had I NOT been hitting the gym daily!
Eh. Oh well. Onto tomorrow.
Hope everyone has a happy humpday.
Ashley

weight: 138.8

lbs to hit mini-goal: 3.8

days left to hit goal: 9....hmmm