Okay....
so I let myself go. I wish I could sugar coat it and pretend that I didnt, but I can't.
There are two things about me that are pretty much always guaranteed.
#1: If I live all alone I get healthy and lose weight.
#2: If I live WITH someone I get UNhealthy and GAIN weight.
It's insane. It's as though I have no willpower EVER when I'm living with someone who wants pizza, tacos, or anything!
So, last night after for one of the first times ACTUALLY wanting to cry after I got on the scale, I figured: you know what? This is DUMB. What am I going to do?? Just KEEP gaining? Be back where I was? Where I couldn't stand my body and felt like crap???
I CAN'T let that happen.
Losing weight is hard, but it's ALWAYS worth it. And fast-forward 3 months from now I want to feel good and love myself this summer. Not keep wishing that I would stop shoving my face.
So...here's to YET AGAIN a new beginning.
Damn it.
But....look....it's better to keep trying than to give up completely.

Here goes.

Weight: 164 lbs. :(

p.s. i either LOSE weight or GAIN weight crazy fast...so sometimes I have it good, sometimes it SUCKS!!! lol

Sorry it's been a couple days, BUT you all would be proud of me. I've been hitting the gym like the old fiend I used to be.
I'm actually about to go right after I have dinner here in about 10 minutes.
I'm eating pretty good (lots of fruits and veggies) and working our hard enough that it was rough to walk the last few days. lol.
I love it though.
If I get down to the LOW 140s, I think I might eat all natural again just because it's quick and easy and then I could glide right into the 130s, and that's a place I CANNOT wait to be! lol
Anyway...I got a brand new digital camera, so no more waiting on developing film (not that it took me long to do that before, I like my pics ASAP), but I will update my progress with pics as I had in the past.
Okay, I hope everyone is having a good start of the week. I know I am!
Love ya'll!
Ash

Weight: 149 lbs (yep, still....but, it doesn't bother me. My body is just adjusting.)

Weight left to goal: 26 lbs.

Calories Eaten: 1400 after I have dinner here.

Calories Burned: (will fill in later)

Days Left to hit goal: 78

So here is what would happen. I'd go to Pracs, eat really carefully, get out and have to hang out with my friends. For some reason hanging out with my friends kept meaning eating, movies, and drinking.
BOOOO!
I can't keep doing that.
I feel like i've tried to 'restart' my diet for the last month and a half. It's starting to get emotionally exhausting.
SO, yesterday with lots of my money in hand, I went and bought tons of food to supplement my 'about to be healthy again' lifestyle.
It also helps that now I have internet in my house again.
I have no excuses. If I fail this time, it's my own unraveling, and as of right now, I have nothing standing in my way.
Wish me luck... as here I go for what I *hope* but feel I *know* is the time that will stick.
Love Ya'll

Weight: 149 lbs
Calories Eaten: 1350
Calories Burned: 1150 (that's right, I'm BACK!!! and it feels GOOD)
Weight Goal: 123 lbs (I like to change it up, it seems. lol)
Weight left to lose to hit goal: 26 lbs
Days left to hit goal: 82 (May 15th)

I can officially say after hitting the gym and eating dinner that I LOVE how this feels and remember why I got so hardcore before. Wish me luck all!!

Look at that. The month is officially more than half way over!
Already. 2007 isnt taking it's time flying by it seems.
I can't believe I'll be out of Pracs here on Saturday morning!!!!
I need freedom, I'm starting to get so antsy!!! Even though it's been like negative 20 degrees, I want to go outside. Just feeling the need for some fresh air...
This morning I jumped on the scale, but I did it in a rush. (didn't want the other girls i room with to see. don't want to be the freakish girl with the scale...remember? lol) well, from what it looked like it may have been 146.
Hmm.
Wish I could OFFICIALLY document that! But because I was in such a rush, I can't let myself count it. (I am a creepy perfectionist when it comes to weighing myself!)
Anyway...nothing new in my land of boring....
I was gonna ask. If there's anyone that's reading this that would like to be part of the weightloss journey with me, you are more than welcome to leave me a comment and then starting monday you can share your gym experience/weight loss/fat loss/toning with me on the comments section.
just an idea....i always say how i'm doing good or bad, it'd be like you could join me. :)
Okay all, I think I'm gonna hit the plastic mattress for some shut eye.
Have a great night!!!
love yall
ash

Weight: 14something between 6 and 8....lol
Calories Eaten: 1100 (not many cuz my options today were terrible, and I wasn't going to eat huge sugar cookies to make up for the low calorie day)

Well, well, well....Valentines DAY.
I have never been SO lucky to be alone and enclosed in Pracs on Valentines Day!
I would probably be doing/eating something unhealthy if I were not here, and I am GRATEFUL!
No fattening chocolate hearts for me!!!! lol (i've never been HUGE on chocolate as it is....)
Anyway...hope everyone is having a good week. I get out of here on Saturday morning, so i just need to make it through the rest of the week.
Know what kills me??
I lost some weight (no shocker...) BUT, the amount I lost; I did so without working out, and I can only wonder what it'd of been if I could've hit a gym! lol
I can't wait to get out of here, and get my energy back.
When you sit around ALL day and can't do physcial activity, you'd be surprised how sedentary your body will become.
But, when i get out: i plan to get back into my running! Besides, I will have a little lump of cash and one thing I'm really excited to get is really good running shoes!!!
(maybe even an ipod....hmmm)
Okay, well, i know i'm getting lighter. Hope all you are too (well, those of you who are trying anyway!)
love yall
ash

weight: 148
Calories eaten: 1320
Calories burned: 0 (boo)
Pounds left to hit goal: 20 to 28