Really? I didn't post in almost a week again??
Sorry. My weekend kind of got the time away from me. (I didn't gain any weight! Don't worry! just didn't get to blogging!)
Thanks John though for keeping me on my toes. lol
AND for reminding me to sign up for a race again. This time (barring some horribly depressing day of pain and self-loathing) I will DEFINATELY go!
It's May 19th and it's the "Fargo Marathon". It has everything from a 26 mile run, a 13 mile run or a 5k (little over 3 miles) run. SINCE I'm just getting back into this whole thing...I'm opting for the 5k. But, I still want to run the whole thing and I need to rebuild my endurance like crazy!
So, I have some work ahead of me.
Anyway...
I already made a goal this week (150s! yeah!) So, that's pretty awesome. I just need to keep up my momentum and motivation and all will be great!
love ya'll
Ash

Weight: 157.8 lbs

Calories Burned: (hitting the gym in a couple hours)

Time left to hit goal: 18 weeks, 5 days

Lbs left to hit goal: 35.8

So, I worked out the last couple days and here it is, Day 3 and I haven't worked out yet.
So, at 1147pm, since I'm incredibly AGAINST going to bed with ZERO workout for the day, I'm about to go for a run outside. A real run. The first one I've ever attempted. I'm going to throw a new battery in my mp3 and pray that it works and I can drift off into my music as my feet hit the ground. (my mp3 wouldn't turn on the other day...don't know if it was battery or if it gave up on life, cuz it's kind of old. will find out soon here...)

I had a question about my height.
I am 5'2". Short little girl. That's why to be in the 120s wouldn't be crazy for my stature. BUT, I had no problem when 3 years ago I was low 130s...I don't care where I end up. I just want to wear a mini-skirt! lol I just like to keep goal "numbers" and tabs on myself. That's how I get myself being more dilligent.
My CHARTS are working for me. Every day has a section that needs to be checked for "cardio" "arms/back" or "legs/abs" and then I grade myself on how I ate and/or worked out. Plus, daily weigh-ins. I'm noticing that when you live with other people that want to cheat EVERYDAY, it's good to have a CONSTANT eye on yourself. And tonight I couldn't bear to put that I DIDN'T work out. That's why I'm about to go for a run!!
See, accountability is back to working for me!
I would also like to go ahead and set a weekly goal. This time next week. (next Thursday) I'd like to be back to running a mile and a half (lost SO much endurace...and want to start back slow) AND would like to be in the 150s. That's not TOO demanding considering my weight right now! hehe.
Anyway, I'm off for my run. (want to get out of the house before it's midnight...) But, love ya'll!...and i'll write more tomorrow!

Weight: 161.6

Calories Burned: 200

Weight to lose til goal: 39.6

Days left to hit goal: 4 and 1/2 months

Okay. So, I thrive on time-tables. Time-lines. On having a set amount of time for something and 'budgeting' that time.
Now, I wasn't going to place a goal on myself right now, because I've been so lazy getting back into this, but screw it! I need a countdown! That's how I work! lol
So, here's the thing. I want to be able to wear a mini-skirt. (ok, regular skirt would be nice, but i want to get the killer legs for the small version too) :)
So, I was thinking, I don't know how much I would need to weigh to be able to wear a mini...but I think it's somewhere in the 120s. (that's where i was at 15 ish, and I remember wearing anything I wanted). REMEMBER; at anytime if I feel I am getting TOO small, I will stop losing weight! Ashley here is ALL about having sexy curves in her mini-skirt, otherwise, what's the point? But I need a point of reference. Lets go with...122. (only because it's an even number from where I am right now.)
122 by August 6.
August 6 is my 24th b-day, and what better day to show/flaunt what you worked your ass off to get than on your birthday??!!
So there it is!
I'm getting excited now. I can feel the rush of having a goal coming back to me. The feeling of each day being one day closer...
That's 19 and 1/2 weeks away. Almost 20...
So, here it goes. I'm excited, and look forward to being a hot little 24 year old, if I can try! lol

Ash

Weight: 162.0

Calories Burned: 500

Time left to goal: 138 days

lbs to lose to hit goal: 40

Okay. So, I was rereading some of my old stuff, and you know what?? I had to stop and take my own advice. LOL. Like right now, I'm sitting around, I 'could' clean or go take care of some laundry, but I don't really have any pressing matters to attend to. SO, you know what I'm going to do?????????????
Go to the playgym. As soon as I'm done typing this, I'm going to pack up the kiddies and head up there.

And, just in the interest of making this a slightly more interesting post....you know what I hate about my 'new' gym at this 'new' base???
#1: it closes EARLY. I went to go to the gym on saturday and it closed at......wait for it......6 pm. What the hell?? do people not like to workout on a weekend AFTER dinner?? That's just crazy.
#2: The "family" area, where I need to go when I bring my kids is about a third of the size of my old one, and there are NO toys. Just a little treehouse thing and a tv, so my kids get restless easy. (but i pack up toys and bring them...just gets annoying)
#3: AND THE MOST ANNOYING...SO FAR!!! In the playgym there are 2 ellipticals, 2 treadmills, 2 bikes and a stairstepper. Not a huge selection. That's ok....but then there are no free weights....i can handle that too.... BUT, this is what I CAN'T stand!!!! :::There are always people in there that DON'T have kids taking up all the machines!!! And there's a sign that says "people with children have first dibs on the machines" and shane and I had to even go get a gym worker last week because no one would get off their machine!!! And guess what??!!! They still took their sweet time!
Now...I can understand if someone has a kid and their friend goes with them. That makes sense to me. I can understand someone who is really overweight and doesn't want to "big" cardio area to see them. BUT, I can't understand these perfectly fit, normal people picking to work out there INSTEAD of the NICE part of the gym. If I wasn't lugging my kids with, I'd go to the other place in a heartbeat, it's SO nice!!!
So, that's a big annoyance.
But, okay, enough of my griping.
Gonna start getting the kids ready!

Ash

Weight: 162.2

*edited* Calorie Burn: 500

Okay. So, it's 12:47 am as I begin typing this. I'm about to make calender charts to show the progress of weight loss for Shane (estranged husband) and I. Yes, we still live together, but that's a WHOLE different blog.
Anyway, thing is, I got FAT living with this boy, and each time in the last 5 years I have gotten thin involved him NOT being home. SO, now I need to learn how to eat healthy WITH him.
It's rough because we have SO much fun eating BAD together. Today for example. I smelled some pizza and thought it smelled good (food court) and brought up 'wouldn't that taste good?" cuz I know that if we decide to eat pizza, that we'll go and buy all kinds of fun snacks for the evening and play games all night gorging like little gluttons.
Okay, so...that's exactly what happened. See, I was on the right track. I got dressed for the gym, got the kids ready, and BEFORE the gym we were going to hit the grocery store so that we could buy health food. Well...guess what? The grocery store here on the base we live at is closed on Mondays. So, you know what that does to a stupid dieter (AKA dumb me) I start thinking "I'll start TOMORROW".
Guess what????
Tomorrow never comes in my brain and for the last 16+ lbs I've been gaining, tomorrow hasn't come once.
What the hell??!! Why do I feel like I have no self control??
Everything else in my life I feel like I can handle or do, even do well, but this?? It consumes me with wanting to be lazy and not care anymore. Eventhough when I do that, i HATE how I feel.
So, what do I do?
I buy posterboard to make charts. I need something to be right there in MY kitchen showing me how much I weigh and reminding me WHY I need to rehaul my lifestyle.
I also need Shane to veto bad food too....although I know for a fact it's just as hard for him as it is for me.
Oh well.
I have to do this. I don't have a choice. If I don't start now...I'll just gain more weight and then everyday this goes on, I will get more and more stuck in that position of HAVING to do something about it.
I don't want that. I don't want to be a 'slave' to dieting. I want to live my life.
healthy, physical, active life.
So...as my awesome reader John said: I need to blog EVERY DAY. I notice that LAST TIME when I blogged about my accomplishments OR setbacks, it made me SO much more aware. So, that's what I'll do. I don't want anyone to see me fail, let alone myself.
So, here it goes.
It's not a "DIET" because it's not something I'll get on and back off.
Here's to tomorrow morning (well, in just a few hours) starting my new healthy life. That's all.
The weight...will just come off.
Wish me luck.

Ash