So, today is a good Thursday. I've figured out what I'm doing for Jordyn's 5th b-day. That place in Bismarck I took Shane for Fathers' Day would be a great place for her b-day party. There are places for large gatherings, and there are fun little kiddie rides. So, even if no one shows up, my little family will have a blast! (again)
Today was a happy weigh-in day. I like that once I get back into the swing of things, my body likes to award me by letting a couple pounds come off quickly. I'm always a big fan of instant gratification.
Unfortunately, I haven't much to say today. Not much has happened. I haven't eaten bad, and now that I'm a few days into it, it's usually hard to derail me. Plus, Shane will probably go camping this weekend with his family, so I'll probably be here hitting the gym everyday! (he'll have the car, so I'll have to walk there and back, double score!)...our jeep's battery needs to be replaced, so that leaves me vehicle-less.
Anyway...that's about it. I'll know more tomorrow and hopefully be more interesting too!
love ya'll!
ash

weight: 138.4 (the 130s AGAIN!!! woo-hoo!)

lbs left to hit goal: 2.4

time left to hit goal: 13 days

Hello All!!
I'm in a pretty happy mood today... I just got back from the gym and I pushed myself super hard (woo-hoo) and I'm super happy to be back "on track" one could say.
When I think *in perspective* I realize that I'm not THAT far off. So, I fell off the wagon a little bit, but I didn't let the wagon drive away, it just sat there parked waiting for me to get back on, and I did after a quick snack break! (I'm goofy on analogies).

Anyway, hope everyone is having a great June now that it's half over I know lots of people are thinking about July 4th and whatnot. I'm thinking about my bday! It's in exactly 7 weeks from today, and if I could somehow manage to be consistent and lose 2 lbs/week from now til then, I could be 126 for my bday!! That would only the BEST gift to myself EVER!! And then...I'll just be finishing up another study and then I'll get my surgery!!!! Could all this timing REALLY be working out perfectly?? I can't imagine that by September everything I've wanted will have figured it's way out, but if it really does, I'll be really thankful.

So...Im going to break my bday goal into mini-goals of 2 weeks, until the last week, that way they are 'short-term' goals because 7 weeks by itself still sounds long! So, although I think I'll beat this goal super quick when all my *newly* gained weight melts back off, I'll still keep this goal simple: In 2 weeks (July 2) I'd like to be 136. That's 4.4 lbs from what I was this morning, and not overly-ambitious. Here I go!!!
:)
Ash

weight: 140.4

lbs to lose for mini-goal: 4.4

time left to hit mini-goal: 2 weeks

Have a great humpday!

So, it's been a little while. I was in Pracs and then celebrated my sis's bday, and then hit bismarck (state capital with fun things to do in this state, surprisingly) and then I'm home now.
With all my baggage. Not just "luggage" baggage, no, also with extra pounds baggage. Ah...vacations, they suck for me.
So, have you ever read those articles/books/anything that said, "you didn't get overweight overnight, don't expect to lose it overnight"?? Well, as great as that message is, I proved it wrong. I went from a lovely 135.6 (healthy weight for my height) when I got back from Pracs and sis's party (which I thought was pretty good!!) To 142.6 (overweight for my height!)after hitting Bismarck for 36 hours.
Hmm.
I must've eaten ALOT.
But I didn't think it was "alot" just more than usual. And, sure I had bad food and way too much movie popcorn, but to gain that much? I just got SO bummed out that I even ate bad today, just because I KNEW I couldn't undo the damage right away so WHY NOT add to it a little? Stupid mentality?? I already know...it's always how I seem to respond. Funny thing about this whole weird situation. I feel HUGE. Like SUPER huge, and it's so STRANGE because months ago I'd of LOVED to weigh what I do now, AND the jeans I used to LOVE and then undergrew (love that term...) are STILL too big on me (though I put them on figuring nothing else would fit). I had to step back, get some fresh perspective and realize I'm not THAT far off. Sure just a FEW days ago I was low 130s and all was rainbows and unicorns, but oh well. I either change it back or let it get worse.
So, here I am to change it.
Again.
For like the millionth time.
But...isn't that how it is with everyone? Even the most "IN SHAPE" person has a day where they eat too much pasta and vows to work out extra hard that week.
This is almost the same thing.
I try these days to never get too down on myself. Life is too short and too sweet to feel like I'm not doing good enough. Everyday is a new day. And, before I get all lovey-lovey on all of you, I'll just leave it at that. So, back to new goals and all that fun stuff. lol. Back to "wishing" I could fit all the clothes in my closet! haha.
Hope everyone had a great weekend.
Too all the daddy's: happy daddy day~
Love ya'll!
ash

weight: was 142 ish today, but then ate bad food...we'll see in the morning...

goal: 139 (wanna be a 130s girl again...sigh. :)

time left to hit goal: lets say June 25th. No specific reason.

Oh, and here's me, mid 130s and all, at the sis's B-day party. It was a pink/black theme, hence the funky dress. And wow, I still can't believe I was showing that much leg AND blinding that many people with my super-white skin!! lol :)

ps. just so you know, it's a blessing and a curse to lose weight so quickly. i gain just as quickly. here's hoping to another successful upcoming loss! :)

...from this CRAZY dream.
I got a little antsy this morning when I woke up and went through all my clothes and tried on stuff that used to not fit, used to fit when I was a teen, and things that have NEVER fit, that I bought ONLY for a goal...lol
Everything fits.
Everything.
Um.
I don't even know what to do. All my clothes (normal ones, used to be normal anyway) are too big. Uh....what the heck am I supposed to do??! lol I don't want to go out and buy a new wardrobe until I feel like I'm done losing weight, but I've never been in a position where I'm so limited. I have the new shorts/capris that I bought, some dresses I never thought would look ok on me, my old school khaki goal pants I've had for LITERALLY almost 7 years, and ONE pair of jeans that fit. Everything else looks sloppy. Shirt wise, I only have a few of those as well. LOTS of sweaters and warm clothes that fit, but for summer? Not much.
Hmmmm. Didn't see this coming.
Interesting.
Oh well, I'll just live in my gym clothes that are starting to sag on me, until I'm ready to go shopping for real.
Oh, and I didn't gain today. Full on expected to, and would've been ok with that...I lost another 0.4- that leaves me speechless.
Okay, have a great Friday, everyone! My weekend should be interesting. :)
Ashley

weight: 133.4 (officially LOWER 130s, never REALLY thought I'd say that!!!) :)

lbs to lose for mini-goal: 2

time left for mini-goal: 1 and 1/2 weeks. hmmm. That seems do-able, but IF I don't hit it, that's ok. I'm expecting things to slow down. It can't keep going at this rate, can it. BTW: prepare yourselves, the day I am 120-anything I will FREAK OUT!!!!!
love ya'll!




OH! and I got an email asking what my daily meals look like, so here you go:

breakfast: 1 1/2 cups high fiber cereal with 1/2 cup skim or 1/2 cup oatmeal made with water and with 3 tsp brown sugar
snack: 1 oz cashews or pitachios or fruit
lunch: soup, fruit (love kiwi, they're low cal, banana, apple, etc), and carrots with light ranch. sometimes I have a micro meal.
snack: cottage cheese w/pineapple (obsessed with this!!) or with no sugar added canned peaches
dinner: brown rice, veggie (like green beans, or broccoli) I usually mix them together with garlic OR with 1 oz of cheddar, then on the side, sometimes a sweet potato or regular potato all by itself.

I try to stick as much to whole grains/natural as I can. Also, I've been hitting the gym alot! There you are. Thanks for the interest. :)

Okay, so if there's two things that women (or me, I should say) don't get "excited" to shop for, it's shorts and swimsuits. You just usually don't feel that GREAT about yourself after trying on things that are "revealing."
Scratch that.
Last week I tried on some shorts at Gordmans in the Juniors department. I bought a pair of PERFECTLY cute plaid ones and a pair of capris. To give you an idea of how often I buy shorts (not talking pjs here, or buying some on sale for $2 because its a good deal, I'm talking REAL clothes) the last time I did was 4+ years ago. That's right, long, long ago. I've never liked my legs. Even when I was 13, had a rocking PERFECT little body (thank you Soccer) I hated my legs because my sister called me chubby. (she later told me that she only did that because she was jealous that I could wear anything) but since I didn't know that at the time, I hated my body. Well, my short legs anyhow. Anyway, fast forward a decade (yikes) and I've still hated my legs. Not so much that their ugly or cellulite-y, thing is for a "woman" I don't CARE about cellulite, 99% of girls have it, so why should I freak out if I do??? Besides, if someone wants to look and try to find some and then judge me that harshly, I don't care.
So...back to my subject: once I hit the 130s, I'd been itching to get some shorts. Kind of a way to show myself that I'm not hating how things are looking down there. I wore some shorts last summer over Labor day weekend when I went camping, I made them out of my old jeans that were too big. Then I brought some camo shorts that I got at Pennys for like $1.99 at a crazy sale (see above), but they weren't "flattering" in anyway, just comfy for a hot summer.
Well, last week before Pracs I found some ADORABLE little plaid shorts. Not too short to show any naughty bits, but not too long that they cut me in half at the knee (i'm 5'2" remember, people?), and I fell IN LOVE with them. I didn't buy them because I was going to Pracs and scared I'd gain weight and then be bummed if I got out and they didn't fit. Well, I got out, tried them on again and they fit. I bought them. I also bought the ONLY capri's that have EVER fit me and looked ok. When you have muscular thighs and you're short, it's HARD to pull off the capri look. I know lots of people that try, but generally I think you need to be taller to look good in them OR really really tiny. Well, I found some that were cute. So, I bought them too. FIRST capri's EVER.
Ready for this: They were BOTH a size......Seven.
Sweet.
I feel like when I put them on they're suddenly going to not fit or something crazy. I can't believe I'm small enough to fit them. It's such a wonderful feeling that it makes up for all the late night munchies that I gave up to feel it! I know it seems like I'm ranting ON and ON about crap, but it's a big deal to me! lol. It was like another goal to hit. Everyone I hit, I like stop and go into shock with myself. It's like I'm finally doing this. It feels SOOOO good. That's all.
Oh, so as for the heading, insanity? What I weighed in at this morning. I have to be dehydrated (although I drink LOTS of water) or SOMETHING. I couldn't possibly weigh, what I weigh. I FULLY expect a gain tomorrow. It just doesn't feel like it can be real. It's going too fast, isn't it supposed to start going slow? lol.
Ahh....guess we'll see in the morning. :)
Okay, love you guys, sorry about the rambling.
Ash

weight: 133.8 (<-----WHAT? How? I ate rice before going to bed! lol)

lbs left to lose for mini-goal: 2.4

time left to hit mini-goal: 11 days