So, day 3 is 3/4 of the way over. I have eaten completely clean and worked out every day. (still need to strength train later, my training was SO hardcore yesterday that I can barely walk today and at the gym even walking on the treadmill was difficult!).
I am a little annoyed that my body isn't responding like it used to. I could eat all-natural and the weight would fall off. Not this time. Not sure what to make of that, but I won't let myself get discouraged. And if this is my body's way of punishing me for a bad long week and a half of bad food, then I deserve it. I just hope that I'll see the changes in my body and be able to fit back into the jeans I wore JUST 2 weeks ago...(and love). We'll see what happens. Okay, this is short cuz I'm tired and need to get started on dinner. Love ya'll!
Ash

weight: 148.2

lbs to hit goal: 9

so, if anyone reads my former blogs for me DAY ONE is ALWAYS the hardest. because ALL the way up until right before I go to bed *if* i DO eat bad, I'll end up gorging the rest of the time I'm awake and then I wake up the next day feeling like shit. BUT...I'm excited to say that today is done! I got in a great old-school Ashley work-out and I feel wonderful. I've been looking at costume ideas that don't look so skanky if i'm not feeling that much like showing as much skin on Halloween, as I previously anticipated. lol. I might do something as simple as Dorothy from the Wizard of oz or something. Not sure yet. I'll know in a couple of weeks. Since I gained this last 10 lbs so fast, I wonder how fast I'll lose it. I'm not in any rush though. I don't want to pressure myself at all.
Hmmm.... so October 2nd, done. I did well, that's good. I would've done great YESTERDAY but I had left-over chocolate chip cookies, and lets just say that one thing led to another and chocolate chip cookies turned into awesome cheesesticks, which turned into more...bad cycle. see, I did great ALL day yesterday, but then those cookies kept calling out to me. Ridiculous, huh? Yes, but now they are gone, and I don't plan on having stuff around to drive me crazy like they were. (choc. chip cookies and popcorn are my sworn enemies!)
Okay, well, that's it for me. I'm off to bed. I'm gonna be getting up early to hit the gym. I want to try to get my weight training out of the way in the morning, but we'll see how that works out. I'd have to get up at 5 and back at 6, so shane can go to work. We'll see... lol
Have a great day!
ash

weight: 148.8

lbs to lose for next goal: 10

p.s. oh, and any competition, is ALWAYS welcome... but i'll email you more personally, later. :)

I know I haven't written in a couple weeks. That's because instead of being super-awesome and getting inspired to lose weight and get EVEN closer to my goals, I did the opposite.
Yes, I gained, but worse than that? I lost control. It's hard for me, I've noticed when I'm surrounded by friends and family and someone says, "lets eat bad today, and I'll START WITH YOU tomorrow, and we'll get healthy together". Guess what? that tomorrow never came, and each day was a new reason to eat bad (we were going to be out-of-town, driving on the road, at the bar watching football) all kinds of things. So...I got out of Pracs on Sept. 12, weighing in at a lovely little 137ish, and now I'm more than 10 lbs above that. Another weakness I have? When I have a huge goal (like H-Day has been for me) the closer I get I seem to do one of two things. Either buckle down really hard and do the RIGHT thing OR completely BLOW things by eating bad daily and not going to the gym AT ALL. Boo. Then another thing to add on that, usually when I do Pracs studies, I eat very limited, which is good, but this next study I'm signed up to do is a fatty study, and I have to eat everything. And you can't work out in Pracs, so I feel like anything I lose between now and going to Pracs (oct. 15), i'm just losing what I'll be gaining right back, and that's frustrating. Oh well. I need to STOP looking at these DATES and thinking I need to weigh a certain amount by a certain time. I need to realize that I'm STILL in the 140s, and that's not TERRIBLE and if I lose slower but learn how to control myself, that's MUCH better than losing quickly and then having a month of gorging. I remember back in March and April I let myself go from the 140s all the way back to the upper 160s. I felt liks such a failure and I was embarrassed of myself. I need to stop having that ALL or NOTHING mentality. I thought I had started to get away from it...but I guess it's one of the demons in my mind I will always be dealing with.
So....
As of right now...I don't know how Halloween will be. I know that if I *don't* do the bee costume...I've made peace with that. Another thing I decided on after LAST weekend...No more drinking. I lost control and got really sick. More sick than I've been my whole life from alcohol, AND worse of all I lost my digital camera. My baby. EVERYONE knows how I LOVE to take pics, and there were pics on the camera of my kids and my friends and family that i will never get back...and that sucks. So...alcohol and me have broken up. That's good though. Will prevent the next day syndrome of feeling like you can eat anything you want cuz you feel too crappy to hit the gym. lol.
okay, see everyone, i'm human. gains, and losses just like ANYONE else. Here's to more losses coming up for the month of October, I'm hoping!! lol
ash

weight: 149

goal: lets just say I'd like to be in the 130s again. Don't care when, just want to get back there. that was a happy place...
Oh, and i want to add some pics, since I won't have new ones for a little while when i can get another camera...
The first one was out camping at the beginning of Sept. the other was a couple nights before, out drinking with friends. (and yes, i KNOW i really need to get friends that aren't so SKINNY!!! damn!)

So, it's NO secret that I would love to have a rocking body by Halloween. I remember when I was about 14-15 I wore slightly showy things (not slutty) but I had a great little athletic bod and could wear anything i wanted. Fast-forward almost 10 years (ah...that's scary) and I want to do it again. I have just barely over 6 weeks and would love to be in the mid 120s. I know that seems like alot to lose especially considering that I'm already so close to goal and I know things will go slower, BUT I'm going to revert to my gym-fanatic/natural food ways and HOPE that it will give me an edge. you know, even if I could just get to 129, I'd be okay with that. Thing is, I have 6 weeks to firm up the booty, legs, and arms. I show quite a bit of leg in the costume, so last thing I want is for it to look badly. lol. I KNOW in my last post I talk about wanting to be 125. And i do....i just don't think I can lose 15 lbs in 6 weeks too easily. I want my goal to actually be more attainable.
So, there's my lovely new goal. H-Day. It'll be fun. :) I'm excited to get into the new transition of being "normal" to "smaller" (getting away from "chubby" was CRAZY to me, but i LOVE it!)
okay, have a great week everyone!
ash

weight: 140 lbs (had an indulgent week, but that's done)

lbs to lose: lets say 11

days left to hit goal: 6 weeks 2 days.

You can now technically call me "mid 130s". A thought that to me implies being at a comfy weight and not looking chubby anymore. Me, not chubby? I still need to wrap my mind around that thought. Yesterday I went through my closet and there isn't a pair of pants, jeans, or skirt that DOESN'T fit me. I have these khakis that have been like my ULTIMATE goal pants since the day I bought them (like 5 years ago). They are perfect little khakis, but i've never worn them. Never got small enough. Got to a point once of being able to zip them up, but never any closer. Well, I put them on yesterday and they fit. Perfectly. These are a pair of pant that usually embody everything that I thought about myself, which can be summed up with this thought, "I'll get close, but never exactly where I want to be." And now, here I am. CLOSE to my goal weight (low 120s would be nice) and it's so WEIRD to know that i KNOW i am going to make it. For the first time in my life I feel like I have control with how I look and can keep it this way. It's actually quite exciting.
So, really quick to anyone who looks at this: sorry it's been awhile since I've written. I got into a VERY last minute Pracs study, and was unable to get on the internet while I was there. I check back in again next week for another week and then I get the nice little payout.
Okay, so I don't remember what my goal was, but in a couple of days it's September and I'm already in the 130s, so I'm happy.
My next big thing is Halloween. I'm sure people think I'm crazy because I'm so into Halloween, but this will be the first time I can get into the glitz and glam of a fun, sexy costume and feel good about myself. So, it's a big step for me, and I'm excited about it.
My goal for H-Day will be 125 lbs. I think that would be okay for my cute little costume idea, and I have about 2 months to get there, so it's no rush. Here I go...
Ash

weight: 136.4

lbs left to hit goal: 11.4

time left to hit goal: 2 months 1 day

Going camping this weekend, will post pics when I get a chance. Love ya'll!!!