http://180countdown2sexy.blogspot.com/

It's been FOREVER.... I do know this.

 I have had a crazy year of losing and getting to an all-time low, to gaining, to losing again this summer, and then dating (aka GAINING) and now I'm back to a point where I get often. Low 140s- don't hate myself but don't love how I look either. Going on another journey. Doing it on a different website too- if anyone would like to follow along, I welcome any and all!!! If you are on a weight loss/health journey, feel free to tell me all about it and we can do it together. Anyone reading this- love to you- have a great Tuesday!!

http://180countdown2sexy.blogspot.com/

 

Hi everyone!
I know me writing lately is very few and far between- but with the daycare it's really hard to get some "me" time sometimes. I'm getting ready to go do some cleaning (laundry and dishes, nothing too interesting) and thought I'd do a quick catch-up on here before I get involved with something else.
My eating is STILL really wonderful. I do have times where I'll eat half a box of mini-teddy grahams (those things are addictive, watch out!) but for the most part, I'm still all about as much fresh fruits and veggies and natural food as I can. The weight I gained over the holiday really only took a couple of weeks to fall off, and now I'm back to where I was. I attribute that with getting BACK in the gym (ran a....wait for it....wait.....EIGHT minute mile the other day...!!!!!) and the fact that I didn't CONTINUE to eat bad, I went back to healthy, so the weight didn't have a choice but to pack back up and hit the road again.
Now, I'm at a weight/size that I'm truly happy with. TRULY. I went to the store today and lots of "smalls" fit me. That is so awesome...I don't care about the number on the scale- but I don't want my actual BODY to get much smaller because I have all these clothes now that I've gotten and if I get any smaller they won't fit- and I don't want that! lol. I want to just stay like this, just have my body LOOK better as far as tone and muscle and all that fun. Hopefully that'll continue. When I don't get a chance to hit the gym, I've been strength training at home, but don't have many options on the cardio front. With kids here at any hour of the day, it's hard to have a cardio "routine" lol.

On a completely different note, I want to say something to whomever reads this. Don't let your weight rule your life. Don't let your size make you feel like you aren't good enough or that you'll be *better* if you are a different size. I'm at my goal- but I'm the exact same person. I have the same corny jokes, I'm still insecure about my stomach, and I still feel things the exact same way. When my marriage had it's ups and downs I always thought that it was because I wasn't "pretty enough" or "slim enough" because the man I was with liked girls that were really thin. But do you know what happened as I got smaller and smaller??? I realized that I was doing this for ME. Not for anyone else. That I don't care how other people look at me and if they want to judge me or not. We ALL have flaws. I just wanted to get my body healthy for the sake of being HEALTHY. Yes, clothes look better and I feel more confident- but people, trust me, that's a BONUS- not the reason you should want to lose weight. If you are empty and sad inside because of your weight- there is MORE to it than that. You need to find out why. I used to be an emotional eater. BAD. I'd have a crummy or stressful day and I'd want to eat EVERYTHING to fill that void. One day I realized that instead of just denying myself that pizza or hitting the gym extra hard- I should also tackle what's making me spiral out of control in the first place- and take care of it.
So I did.
Now that is all fixed.
No need to go into detail, but those that know me well, know what I am talking about.
I have no more of that emotional pain/drama that I was dealing with, so eating now is an EASY decision. I eat to maintain a healthy lifestyle and if I want to indulge in something tasty- I DO.
But, I don't do it to fill some never-ending hole that can't be filled...

When you eat something to FEEL BETTER- do you ever really FEEL BETTER?? No- you feel WORSE.

I guess all I'm saying is, if you've struggled for awhile (I did for like 9 years with my weight)- there is more to it than just eating less and hitting the gym. There's something IN you that keeps you in that rut. You might want to find it. It might be the best thing you'll ever do for yourself.

Love you all,
Ashley

weight: 120.4

goal: um- run a 7.5 minute mile. That's a long time coming I'm sure- but one day...

Hello any and all!
I have a really LONG day tomorrow and I should NOT be up right now...but oh well.
Today was REALLY good. I finally got re-focused and back on the "healthy ashley" place where I LIKE to be. Over the holiday break I gained 7 lbs.... Yes, 7. lol. I gain AND lose fast. I don't care about weight though- I just want to get back into my sexy jeans and feel good. :)
Tonight I hit the gym for the first time in like a MONTH. It felt GREAT. I actually ran longer than I had in a long time- AND- wait for it.................FASTER. What the heck? You'd think my body wasn't conditioned or something- but I ran at 5.0 for a mile- then I still felt like I could keep going- bumped it up to 5.5 for 1/2 a mile. THEN- I was like, I'm in the "zone" and I'm going to take advantage of it, lol, I put it at 6.5 and ran...the ....entire...mile.
Yes, so I ran the fastest mile of my life tonight in 9 mins 13 seconds. lol. I even kept running for another minute to show myself that I could push myself past my boundaries. I would've stayed around and done more running actually- but little man had to go potty and with a newly potty-trained kiddo, THEY come first. lol. So, we took off.
Now, I'm back at home, KNOWING that I'm back into my healthy kick and just wondering how great I can get my body to look. I know there are some of you that read this that are obsessed with the number that the scale spurts back at me- but I really just want to get toned and look "great".
My goal would be to have that indentation in the thigh- that toned look- AND to get a sexy hot ass. Not going to lie- those are my ambitions. lol. My arms look good and toned, not worried about those- but my bottom half needs some help! So, I will continue back with my gym routine and strength training and then hopefully soon I'll look like a cheerleader- cuz seriously? Don't they have great bodies?? :)
Okay, that's all for me. I'm just having a really GREAT day and wanted to spurt off for a minute. :)
nigh-night!
Ashley

weight: 124.8 (lost the other 3 lbs this past week- i'm in no hurry- just going from eating BAD every DAY to eating healthy helped...though i did have a couple pizza splurges. lol)

Good morning all!
Today I had a cancellation for daycare, so I should only be working from 8-3pm. That's awesome. I was supposed to go until 7pm, which I don't mind cuz I adore those little boys- but I might have enough time today to go do my x-mas shopping and hit the gym in the first time in a LONG time.

Okay, I have to do a mini-vent. I got an email yesterday (you know who you are! lol) that said if I lose anymore weight that they will worry I have anorexia. Um....Ok. Here's the thing, cuz after getting comments similar to this for quite a while, I'd like to point out a few things:
A. I have NEVER, NEVER said I want to be "skinny"> i want to be curvy, small, and fit.
B. I ALWAYS say how I want to be super healthy, I want to be toned, and I want to be a runner. This is NOT the mentality of an anorexic.
C. I EAT. I eat all day- lots of mini-meals. Yes, they are very healthy, clean meals, but that doesn't make me anorexic, that makes me health consious.
D. I don't CARE what I weigh- why do SO many other people??!!! I'm not going for some unattainable low number, or trying to do anything unrealistic!

It all comes down to this, and I will say this ONCE more, because no one seems to listen when I said it before. I eat healthy, I want to live a healthy ACTIVE life. These are GOOD things. These are things you should HOPE that your friends/family want to do. Why do I get such a hard time about it?? You should be HAPPY I am being a healthy person. I don't CARE about the number on the scale. I fit my sexy jeans and I like how they look- that's all I CARE about. I want to live my life the BEST that I can, and whereever that number falls- it falls. WHO cares what the SCALE says??! Here's the thing- when I get back into the gym on a regular basis- chances are one of two things will happen. I will either gain weight and muscle mass as my old fat melts off and I get more toned (which I really want to be MORE toned!) OR I will lose weight as that happens. I don't know what will happen, but whatever does happen, let me tell you: I am doing everything the HEALTHY way and the RIGHT way, and if you think I should NOT keep doing that- then I think you should think about your OWN motives. Why would you want someone you love/care about to STOP being healthy?! That doesn't make sense. If I continue to get a hard time about my weight- I will STOP posting it. If I dont care what I weigh anymore, I don't know why so many other people do!
Also, I'd just like to add this for your consideration:

Height: 5 feet, 2 inches
Weight: 121 pounds

Your BMI is 22.1, indicating your weight is in the Normal category for adults of your height.

Maintaining a healthy weight may reduce the risk of chronic diseases associated with overweight and obesity.

BMI Weight Status
Below 18.5 Underweight
18.5—24.9 Normal
25.0—29.9 Overweight
30.0 and Above Obese

HAHA! Stop telling me I am underweight. I KNOW the facts of my height.

Ok...hopefully that is it with that. Onto lighter, more exciting things I am dealing with. I have officially lost 105 lbs since having my son 3 years ago. That was HUGE to me when it actually hit me. Over the 100+ mark. That's CRAZY. Crazy awesome!

Okay, I need to go straighten up the kitchen and give kids a snack. Please don't feel offended by my little rant- it's just I worked so hard to do this the RIGHT way and it did take me awhile! Instead of sending me all these messages (I got THREE yesterday) that I need to stop and that I'm TOO small- go back and re-read this blog if you don't believe me. I've always been about doing it the right way.

Love ya'll,
Ashley

weight: 121.0

goal: To get really toned legs and bummy

Oh, and since I said I'd post progress pics: here you are. I added another "before" and here is me yesterday as well. Not even CLOSE to anorexic! lol

Hello!!
First I want to say, Ju-Ju, I'll call you tonight, I was crashed out last night, sorry. The weekend caught up with me, lol. Let's see...what's new with me?? Well, the daycare is going pretty well so far! That's always a good thing. I haven't been able to hit the gym in a while because it's been TOOO cold outside!!! What is too cold do you ask? Well, right now it's -25 with a windchill of -50. Um, that's too cold in my book. I wouldn't care if it was just me trudging out there- but I'd be taking Johnny with me (if Jo was at school) otherwise, I'd be taking both kids out in that- and I just feel too badly about forcing them to freezerburn their face so that mommy can go run. lol. I did some strength training around my house- so at least I feel a *little* better. It's funny because I'm losing weight as though I was hitting the gym! And I'm annoyed because I want to firm/tone- not just lose!!! Regardless what anyone thinks about how much I *should/shouldn't* weigh (you'd be surprised how many opinions people have on this!)- I JUST want to get sexy and toned and be healthy!!!
So, I kind of have a little mini-goal- I guess. In 11 days (Dec. 26) I'm REALLLLLLY excited because it's going to be my birthday. Okay, it's not going to be my birthday, but it sure as hell will feel like it! I'm taking a couple days off from the daycare and heading out to Grand Forks and going out with some friends that I hardly get to see AND more people have recently said they were going that I REALLY haven't seen in a LONG time!! (Ju-that's you! lol) I'm REALLY excited! I'll get to have a night out, not have to worry about my babies (they'll be with grandparents) AND, I will feel just fine about myself out at a bar/club for the first time EVER. Damn. This is a rocking month. My mini-goal is to just tone up as much as possible before then. (how possible is that anyway???)- I was talking to my mom on the phone last night and I'd really love to wear a cute little sweaterdress w/boots or a cute skirt w/winter boots. Only problem is my booty is kind of, what's a good word? SUCKY. I need to fix that area. I won't make that my official mini-goal- but that's what I wish I could fix. I don't want to look flat like a pancake from behind like Paris Hilton or something. I want to look sexy!! lol.
Okay, enough about my booty. Well, I hope everyone else is staying warm. I'm trying!! Hope you guys had a great weekend and there's only 10 days to Christmas!! Wow. I haven't done x-mas cards or anything. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Weird. This daycare has taken over my life. lol
Okay, love ya'll!
Ash

weight: 121.2