I woke up today and my pajama pants were falling off. Literally. How did they go on normal- but in the morning I felt like i needed to redo the drawstring on them? So, with extra interest- I went to weigh in. 141.4
I think the last time I was 141ish was in....March- April maybe? The 130s- that's been since LAST October!!! last Halloween actually...which is just around the corner. I haven't been thinking too too much about the 130s because I figured they were a November or December idea I was going to get into- but NOW- they are knocking on my October door. I don't expect them....but it's getting very interesting.

I was running around a lot at work last night, which has to be SOME kind of a workout. Another cool thing though? My work pants were looser on me. I was digging it. These are my favorite parts about getting into shape. The feeling of feeling BETTER and slimmer and healthier and fitter ALWAYS feels better than eating CRAP.
I am probably going to have some wine tonight-(and I type this as I eat my oatmeal AGAIN-lol)- but other than that there will still be no temptation of bad food. Last night at work there was a lot of bad food in the kitchen where I work. I was too busy to eat it so other people went crazy on it. Funny thing was- by the time I wasn't as busy and COULD have had some- it looked SO gross after being attacked by the vultures I work with. lol. So, I passed.
It is Friday and my first test of trying to not be stupid with food over the weekend is now going to be upon me.
Good luck to me!!! And good luck to anyone reading that has the same issues!
Love you all,
Ash

weight: 141.4

goal for next week?....knock on the door of the 130s until they answer by walking everywhere I can and keeping up on the hip-hop-abs. :)

I am sitting here eating some oatmeal about to jump in the shower and I'm feeling very 2007. It's been a really long time since I had oatmeal...I used to have it EVERY morning back in the day. It's a pretty wonderful way to start the morning too because it keeps you CRAZY full!
Now I remember why I did that so much...
I am on day 4! I am still doing GREAT. I haven't eaten a single cheat food and I have done hip-hop abs twice and ordered some (3!) workout videos on my new netflix account. :)
One of my biggest motivations is definitely the fact that I lose fast. I already feel like I look different. It's good and inspiring me to do more since I have so much else going on in my life that sucks and that I can't control- I might as well kick butt at this!! lol.
My first "temptation" will not be until Saturday. I'm going to visit the bestie and we are going to a drag show and getting all dressed up Halloween style as 80s girls. lol. I've never done the 80s dress up- so this should be fun. BUT- I also don't remember the last time bestie and I ate HEALTHY food together- and in 'party mode' that might be my first real challenge. I do know I am not going to rule out alcohol. I want to be able to drink and have a good time with her- and I'm not on some STRICT crazy diet with unrealistic goals- I can have fun once and awhile.
We'll see what happens, I guess....
Tonight I'm debating on going out dancing. The pros are CALORIE BURNING- FUN- and much needed time to feel good and not be in the house with the ex where I want to cry. The cons- paying a little extra in daycare in a time where I'm a little broker than usual. (my child support is tied up in the state system right now...so i'm winging this LITERALLY single mom style! lol)
Hmmm. I wish I didn't have to save up for a deposit for a new place! That's just annoying. lol. too bad I can't get paid to work out somehow. lol.
Ok, well, I'm getting into complainy mode and i DONT want to go there at all. I'm going to finish my oatmeal. I hope all of you are having a wonderful Thursday. :)

weight: 143.8

hit my goal....i remember these days....sweet. :)

Last time I wrote on here was March 9th.
Ick.
That's more than 7 months ago....
Granted I'm not like "super huge" or anything- but I was in a committed relationship and went from being 135 when we met to about 153 at my highest. Why in a comfy/happy relationship is going out to eat or vegging out EATING always so darn fuN?!
Oh well, not anymore.
There are a few small triggers I have in my life when it comes to wanting to get into shape. Some girls hear they'll be in a wedding or they have a reunion coming up. What works the best for me?? Break-ups. It's terrible, and I don't like that it's a trigger for me- but going through a break-up sucks enough, last thing you want to do is not be able to button up your fat pants. Then you just feel EXTRA crummy.
....So.... it's back to my health and fitness routine and blah, blah, blah.
There are so many times I've lost 20lbs or so, that I know how- it's just re-doing it that gets annoying. If I could train myself to NOT gain again would be awesome. I know what my problem is too. I'm the "tomorrow" kind of girl. Even when I'm at a good healthy weight- if I get a chance to eat CRAP and have a blast I tell myself it's ok because "tomorrow...I will eat REALLY HEALTHY"...but then tomorrow comes and I go, "I ruined yesterday, what's the rush on doing great today?" and then the cycle goes on and on.
So...A few things I have planned as of RIGHT NOW.
1) I want to lose about 30lbs. 30. I've done it before, I'll do it again, and it's too bad it's over winter, so I won't be able to run outside or anything- BUT- oh well. I've dealt with worse.
2) I'm signing up for the Jingle Bell run with my city and getting some people I work with to do it too...so it should be a great motivator and a good goal to go towards. That's the first week in Dec.
3) My boyfriend (that we are officially not together but still living together because we "love each other" and don't want to throw it away and will see what happens in the future...) is a great looking guy with a great body. I let myself turn into flubby mcgee. I know that didn't have anything to do with the break-up, but it'll definitely help me get over it because now I'll have something to concentrate on and work on while he is moving on and living his newfound "single life" again. We were together over a year- so I expect he's antsy to go out and see what's out there again.

Today is Monday, OCT 18th. I'm going to go for....20 weeks.
That's my LONG TERM GOAL.
Twenty weeks is March 7th. My goals for then are to have run my little 5k, to be approx. 119ish, to have toned arms and legs again, and to just FEEL GOOD.
I'm going to eat as simply and close to nature as I can. Get in as much cardio daily as I can squeeze in and get in strength training alternating upper/lower body every other day.
If you'd like to follow my NEWEST attempt at doing this: feel free. I'd love the company. :)
Here we go.

weight: 149.2
mini-goal for oct. 25: 145
goal for the week: Do hip-hop abs 5 times. (my friend gave it to me and I want to make her proud!)

http://10for2010.blogstream.com/
It's been awhile. I don't even know if anyone reads this EVER. But, I don't care. I do much better on things when I feel like I have to answer to something ANYTHING, then I do if I just answer to myself. I like to let myself slide a little too much....

Okay, so it's March- and it's 2010. My fitness journey started a long time ago, and I'm sure it will continue each year as I come and go with my dedication. One thing I DO know is that when I write things down I do MUCH, MUCH better.

This time- instead of just writing about fitness, food, and all that fun stuff, I'm actually making this into a new beginning of sorts. There are alot of things I want to accomplish- but I just don't seem to really get down and go for them. THIS is going to become my goal tracking for the year. For 2010- I will write a list of things I want for myself, and document myself going for it! This will be on THIS site, and hopefully someone will follow me. :)
Have a lovely day!
Ashley
http://10for2010.blogstream.com/

Hi everyone!
I know me writing lately is very few and far between- but with the daycare it's really hard to get some "me" time sometimes. I'm getting ready to go do some cleaning (laundry and dishes, nothing too interesting) and thought I'd do a quick catch-up on here before I get involved with something else.
My eating is STILL really wonderful. I do have times where I'll eat half a box of mini-teddy grahams (those things are addictive, watch out!) but for the most part, I'm still all about as much fresh fruits and veggies and natural food as I can. The weight I gained over the holiday really only took a couple of weeks to fall off, and now I'm back to where I was. I attribute that with getting BACK in the gym (ran a....wait for it....wait.....EIGHT minute mile the other day...!!!!!) and the fact that I didn't CONTINUE to eat bad, I went back to healthy, so the weight didn't have a choice but to pack back up and hit the road again.
Now, I'm at a weight/size that I'm truly happy with. TRULY. I went to the store today and lots of "smalls" fit me. That is so awesome...I don't care about the number on the scale- but I don't want my actual BODY to get much smaller because I have all these clothes now that I've gotten and if I get any smaller they won't fit- and I don't want that! lol. I want to just stay like this, just have my body LOOK better as far as tone and muscle and all that fun. Hopefully that'll continue. When I don't get a chance to hit the gym, I've been strength training at home, but don't have many options on the cardio front. With kids here at any hour of the day, it's hard to have a cardio "routine" lol.

On a completely different note, I want to say something to whomever reads this. Don't let your weight rule your life. Don't let your size make you feel like you aren't good enough or that you'll be *better* if you are a different size. I'm at my goal- but I'm the exact same person. I have the same corny jokes, I'm still insecure about my stomach, and I still feel things the exact same way. When my marriage had it's ups and downs I always thought that it was because I wasn't "pretty enough" or "slim enough" because the man I was with liked girls that were really thin. But do you know what happened as I got smaller and smaller??? I realized that I was doing this for ME. Not for anyone else. That I don't care how other people look at me and if they want to judge me or not. We ALL have flaws. I just wanted to get my body healthy for the sake of being HEALTHY. Yes, clothes look better and I feel more confident- but people, trust me, that's a BONUS- not the reason you should want to lose weight. If you are empty and sad inside because of your weight- there is MORE to it than that. You need to find out why. I used to be an emotional eater. BAD. I'd have a crummy or stressful day and I'd want to eat EVERYTHING to fill that void. One day I realized that instead of just denying myself that pizza or hitting the gym extra hard- I should also tackle what's making me spiral out of control in the first place- and take care of it.
So I did.
Now that is all fixed.
No need to go into detail, but those that know me well, know what I am talking about.
I have no more of that emotional pain/drama that I was dealing with, so eating now is an EASY decision. I eat to maintain a healthy lifestyle and if I want to indulge in something tasty- I DO.
But, I don't do it to fill some never-ending hole that can't be filled...

When you eat something to FEEL BETTER- do you ever really FEEL BETTER?? No- you feel WORSE.

I guess all I'm saying is, if you've struggled for awhile (I did for like 9 years with my weight)- there is more to it than just eating less and hitting the gym. There's something IN you that keeps you in that rut. You might want to find it. It might be the best thing you'll ever do for yourself.

Love you all,
Ashley

weight: 120.4

goal: um- run a 7.5 minute mile. That's a long time coming I'm sure- but one day...